We have a 3 year old toddler who has been diagnosed with ADHD, although, technically, he is too young to be actually diagnosed yet. Our mental health professional stated we should try an 8 week behavioral program, and then if that fails, then we will go ahead and have the testing done so that we can try a low dose of medication to try to control him. The three year old has severe issues with defiance, hyperactivity, and focusing. He was kicked out of his first daycare (pre-school) within the first six hours, and told he was never allowed back. He is very hyper and will run in circles, do backflips off the couch, run into doors…etc. He also has excessive talking and constantly repeats himself. Has the appearance as if his mind is going 90mph. He can't even sit through a meal for more then 2 minutes without jumping off the chair and running around. Has not responded to any type of discipline, time-outs, corporal punishment, negative and positive reinforcement. What to do???????
I can’t believe the school kicked him out within 6 hours! My guess is that his teachers were not experienced working with spirited children and it was just easier for them to kick him out. I have taught preschool and kindergarten for over 12 years. Over the years I have had many ADHD students, some who were even kicked out of schools (I have never had to kick one out). The techniques I use to discipline them are the same I would use for any child, they just take a little more time. They also need a consistent schedule. They need a snack at the same time, to go outside at a given time, circle time at the same time. I notice that a disruption in their schedule greatly affects children with ADHD. So do your best to keep a consistent schedule.
Using logical or natural consequences are the best ways to discipline children. Taking away a toy or privileges when your son misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if he throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If he spills his milk, he wipes it up. If he breaks a toy, puts it in the trash. Let the “punishment” fit the crime.
Another thing you can try when he is misbehaving is to get down to his level and say "I don't like when you (explain what and why)." Take him gently by the hand and put him in a spot in your home (bedroom, the couch.) Say "When you're ready to (control yourself, stop hitting, listen, behave, calm down) then you can come back with me." This is not a time out because you are not giving a time limit (you controlling him). He can return when he is ready to control himself. You may have to take him back to the spot a few times before he gets the message. Empathize with him. "You must be really (angry, upset, hurt, mad, frustrated..). What can we do about that?" This will help him to better communicate his feelings Thank him when he behaves. Keep it up!
I’ve had several students that were very much like your son. When I have a child who is “running in circles” in the classroom, I take them gently by the hand and walk them to the playground and say “It looks like you have lots of energy today. Run around the yard a few times to get it out.” Giving them a place to release there hyper energy really helps! I also find that when a child is talking excessively, it helps to get to their level, look them in the eyes, and listen. I then repeat back what they say to me so that they can tell that I am listening and that I “see” them.
Notice him when he is not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture! You did that by yourself!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders and will help him to feel powerful in a positive way.
Limit television, video games, and computer time. Children with ADHD are greatly affected by these.
My guess is that by trying these techniques you will see a very different child in a short amount of time, without medication. I have seen amazing results with my ADHD students using these techniques! I you decide to find another preschool, go with one that is smaller and one where the teachers have lots of experience teaching.
Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. Pick you battles! You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. Hope this helps! Good luck!
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It’s a common misperception that children with ADHD and creative minds need isolation in order to focus. Actually, research proves that multi-sensory stimulation improves attention and retention. In the video clip, we show teachers and parents two simple interventions that help ALL children learn more effectively. Celebrate ADHD has helped over 22,000 families and teachers by using a proactive approach that meets NEEDS instead of treating behavior. Invite us into your school. Visit www.Celebrate-ADHD.com for a free newsletter.
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