Top 5 Things to Tell Your ADHD Child
10 Nov 2008
By Dr. Lara Honos-Webb
The way you talk to your child can profoundly impact his or her behavior, motivation and ability to pay attention. One of the key strategies parents can use is to find and focus on your child’s gifts. The best way to get improvements in areas of concern is to adopt a coaching approach. This means that you use frequent reminders of desired behaviors. It also means you give explanations for why they should use these desired behaviors. This is in sharp contrast to how most parents communicate with their ADHD child, “How many times do I have to tell you not to mouth off to your teachers?” Here are five examples of things you can say to coach your child to better performance in school:
1. “It’s ok to ask lots of questions, it shows your curiosity, problem solving ability and leadership. You will be more effective in getting the outcomes you want if you use a tone and style that shows your respect for your teacher.”
2. “Your teachers work hard to give you the best education and they care a lot about you, I want you to show respect and appreciation for their hard work.”
3. “When you can sit still in class, remember that you can be the boss of your body. If you take a couple deep breathes and remind yourself to calm down you can take control.”
4. “The best way to get your teacher to support you is to look at her and listen when she talks.”
5. “Remember that the harder you try, the smarter you get. You can build your brain by working hard.”
Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist licensed in California. She is author of The Gift of ADHD and Listening to Depression: How Understanding Your Pain Can Heal Your Life which was selected by Health Magazine as one of the best therapy books of 2006. The Gift of ADHD Activity Book: 101 Ways To Transform Problems into Strengths and The Gift of Adult ADD were released in 2008. Her work has been featured in Newsweek, The Wall Street Journal, The Chicago Tribune and Publisher’s Weekly, ivillage.com, msn.com, abcnews.com as well as newspapers across the country and local and national radio and television. Her books have over 125,000 copies in print. The American Psychiatric Association included the Gift of ADHD (2005) in its recommended reading list in their “ADHD Parents Medication Guide.” She specializes in the treatment of ADHD and depression and the psychology of pregnancy and motherhood; she speaks regularly on her areas of expertise. Honos-Webb completed a two-year postdoctoral research fellowship at University of California, San Francisco, and has been an assistant professor teaching graduate students. She has published more than 25 scholarly articles.
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Suzi Marsh is a licensed clinical social worker with over 20 years of experience in professional counseling. She specializes in depression, trauma, and relationship issues. 
how medicating our children is a multi billion dollar industry The Drugging of our Children In the absence of any objective medical tests to determine who has ADD or ADHD, doctors rely in part on standardized assessments and the impressions of teachers and guardians while the they administer leave little room for other causes or aggravating factors, such as diet, or environment. Hence, diagnosing a child or adolescent with ADD or ADHD is often the outcome, although no organic basis for either disease has yet to be clinically proven. Psychiatrists may then prescribe psychotropic drugs for the children without first without making it clear to parents that these medications can have severe side-effects including insomnia, loss of appetite, headaches, psychotic symptoms and even potentially fatal adverse reactions, such as cardiac arrhythmia. And yet, despite these dangers, many school systems actually work with government agencies to force parents to drug their children, threatening those who refuse with the prospect of having their children taken from the home unless they cooperate.
